You are a woman over 50 and you gave up on the dating game – after one date!

“Yikes! It just couldn’t end fast enough!”

 I get it, but, like any game, winning the dating game is really about strategy.

 Let’s start with a plan, shall we?  

If you are over 50 and considering dating, there is one guarantee: It won’t be the same as dating at twenty-one. You’ve grown past that, you’re not the same person you were then.

Before you begin a dating journey, you need to specify to yourself the kind of person you are looking for. Write it down, if necessary, but don’t be so particular it puts you out of business. A few flaws are part of being human.

WHAT ARE YOUR CHOICES?

  1. Meeting People Online

Oh, I tried that! The men on the site were awful! All they wanted was a hookup!”

The Price

Almost anything of value has a price. I could defend that statement, but it’s beyond the scope of this blog.

Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sex and relationships researcher, recommends using a dating site that users pay for. This eliminates bad actors that harass you or send you pics of their unmentionables via text. The dating company has their credit card, and they can be wiped from the site for such behavior. Usually, people who pay for these sites are a bit more serious in their dating endeavor, which has positive possibilities for you.

Three sites that stand the test of time:  eHarmony.com, Match.com, and OurTime.com

Words for a winning date profile:

Add personality by weaving your interests and sense of humor through your profile.

Keep it short.

Adopt a friendly, conversational tone.

If a dating site or app lets you create a username or headline, make sure it reflects an interest or passion, such as “Global Trekker.”

Please choose a flattering picture reflecting you today, not 20 years ago. I have heard a few horror stories from my dating friends like:

His picture looked like he was 60, but when I met him, he was 80 if he was a day!”

“He had teeth in his profile picture, but when he met me, he had none.”

Will he order oatmeal? Just a thought.

Anyway, deception is not a good start for a relationship.

Have a friend view your picture and profile before you put it on a dating site and listen to their advice.

If you really want to date, and the usual online scenario has disappointed you, consider investing in a matchmaking service such as It’s Just Lunch. Yes, I know it can be pricey, but that may be the price of doing business. These sites offer a more personalized experience with a close match right from the get-go. Location, location, location – the proper fishing hole eliminates snagging a carp instead of a trout.

2. Traditional Tactics

Online dating sounds like the place to be, but you may be surprised at who’s available in your own neighborhood. Joining groups like Meetup.com for outings like hikes, kayaking or a book club might spark a friendship for you. Volunteering at your place of worship not only assists others but can form lasting relationships. Meeting in a group takes the edge off if you are a bit shy. Group meetings may work better than sitting across a table from a stranger feeling like a deer in the headlights.

Which leads us to:

Rejection

People get rejected for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes the person you thought was a good fit after a few meetings just ends up disappearing. Maybe they didn’t know how to tell you they weren’t interested. With traditional manners, the date should let you down in person, but that’s no longer necessary in the dating world. As in the business world, if they haven’t an interest in the product you’re offering, they just disappear.Please don’t send the runaway 16 invasive texts, and don’t take it to heart and quit. There are plenty of people who will find you a good match.

Have you ever gone house-hunting? It usually takes awhile to find the right dwelling in the right neighborhood at the right price. So it is with finding the right person for a lasting relationship. Most things of value don’t just fall into our laps.

DON’T GIVE UP AFTER A FEW DISCONNECTS

Remember:

Know what you want when dating. Be specific.

Look in the right places for a good match.

Be determined, and you will find the right person.