The Dating Game at 58!

heart-flowers-wallpaper-hd-free-downloadI never dreamed I’d be dating at the age of 58! 

Quite a few of us find ourselves out the other end of the marital tunnel after age 55, whether by divorce or widowhood. I found the Suddenly Single Scene pretty intimidating, and the thought of navigating the dating world as well made me want to pull a blanket over my head. I hadn’t dated in 40 years!

In addition to my morbid imaginings, Our Time.com’s survey reveals that the 50+ crowd is very discerning about whom they will date.

Yikes! That news just discouraged me forever. If divorce or widowhood isn’t enough to sink self-esteem, the Dating Game sounds like  the final straw!

We all know that men sometimes prefer younger women than themselves, and that can be very discouraging. But women are pretty discerning, too. For instance, a woman has to decide whether dating and perhaps marriage is something she really wants after the age of 55. A lot of older women are financially stable, and don’t want their bank accounts drained by a needy man, no matter how attractive he seems. In fact, anyone can suffer business losses and require a bailout. So, a woman needs to consider whether she’s willing to take that risk in a potentially serious relationship.

Then there’s the question of poor health. As lots of women flatly state, they don’t want to be ‘the nurse with the purse.’ If she’s already nursed a man in poor health, she will be unlikely to repeat the scenario, no matter how terrific the short-term romance may appear. Most women will choose an individual who won’t require bedside service any time soon.

But what do men want from women at age 55 or even older? Don’t they prefer younger women? Well……..it’s true. They do. It seems the numerical age of a woman is very important. But then there’s the quip by ‘Cilla’ on a blog site.

Quote: Men don’t care if the women they date are their age (or older!)….. as long as they don’t look it.

Really?

Friends, we live in the age of marketing. How do we sell anything? By making it as attractive as possible. If we have decided to date, then we need to address the ways in which to sell ourselves, in the same way we do when approaching a job interview or marketing a product.

Oh, come on! Can’t anyone get real anymore?

I can get real about what people really want in a potential mate, which is the driving force behind The Dating Game. Men come right out and state what they desire, so I didn’t have to do much research, there. Apparently, it  isn’t really about ageism, but about appearance. Men tend to be more visual than women……..and NO I didn’t want to hear that at the age of 58!

But, I did.

Men say that they want someone whom they are attracted to.  Isn’t that what a woman wants? But here are the particulars, and they call the plays for both sexes.

Men find a fit woman within normal weight boundaries  attractive. Women are a bit more forgiving of the male physique, but not much. So lose some weight and exercise. You’ll certainly live a longer, healthier life.

Wear clothes that work for you. If you are obese, whether male or female, this is a difficult call. So, you may need to return to the ‘fitness’ paragraph.

Ladies – think about hair and makeup. Update that a little. The no-makeup look worked fine for hippy girls in the ’70’s. It does NOT work for women over 50, so stop thinking ‘groovy’.  As the years pass, lighter hair softens your look. Short-short hair can look very feminine, but most men say they don’t like it. (Alright! I’m just the reporter, here!)

Most people are attracted to a person who exhibits vitalityIn other words, pick up your speed, don’t shuffle along like a tortoise, and stand up straight! For heavens sake, don’t hunch. You may freeze in that position.

Find a few interesting things to do. If you wish to sit home and play computer solitaire or watch Love Boat reruns, then maybe dating is not for you. Stimulating activity gives you something to think about and discuss with others.

Both men and women say they don’t want to be with a person constantly complaining and exhibiting negative attitudes. No one wants to waste time with an old grump. Men, no one wants to hear how you’d be living in luxury if it weren’t for the maintenance you owe the former old bag. Ladies, save the fact that your son is very likely to enter the penitentiary for something he….didn’t do, of course.

If you find the person of your dreams, take your finger off the control button. Twenty-nine texts per day is harassment, not connection.

A scatter-shot approach to any serious endeavor leads to results all over the board.  Come on. You will severely limit your prospects by choosing unsuitable persons, then bashing and fault-finding your choices.   Know what to look for and what to avoid in a potential partner for YOU.

Marriages can be made in heaven…but most of the time they are not.  Aim your arrows towards a sensible target, and you’re more likely to score a bull’s eye!

 

 

 

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