Default position, anyone?
As usual, my default position to making serious changes in my life was:
It’s just too much! Maybe I can’t really change it, anyway. Perhaps as a financially insecure, single woman of 58, I should just ‘settle for what I’ve got’.
But, should I really accept that advice? I had taken great responsibility for others around me. But, had I really taken caring responsibility for myself?
You are responsible for your life. There is no one to blame. If you’re not happy with your life or with your circumstances, you are the only one that can take responsibility and start changing it. What are you waiting for? WakeupCloud.
In fact, there were a multitude of things I was waiting for to gain some control over my life! To be honest, I hadn’t had a clue where to begin my changes so I had decided to settle for a mediocre mix. I had a lot of negative views going, too. I let that stuff have quite a bit of control, like:
You’re really going nowhere.
You’ve wasted too much of your life to start over.
You’re always slower to learn new techniques than ‘most people’. (whoever ‘most people’ are)
You are no longer very attractive at the age of 58, after all. This is a youth-oriented culture.
As women, we do base some of our self-esteem on feminine attractiveness. When we feel that is slipping and we have nothing to fill its place, it can be a downer. I had little to fill its place, when I had time to think about it that is! Except more work.
We are what we think
I tended to tell myself stories about my excuses and fears, and then believe them as gospel. This, in a way, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We are what we think. Ever read a book called Think and Grow Rich? The title snagged a lot of people who baffled themselves over the word ‘effort’, but the book’s premise is extremely true: We become what we think we are. Thoughts have great power.
I wanted instant control and predictability, which was what I thought was my greatest life lack. However, is that a realistic premise? If we’re always striving to have our ducks in a row, we will always be frustrated and disappointed. Complete control is just an illusion. You’d think I would have learned that when playing my violin! Nowhere better than that zone to relinquish predictability.
Failure was another flummox. I hated to fail. I hated the idea of picking up and starting all over again on a different tact, because I am an impatient person. But, come to think of it, I had bombed numerous times with the violin, and most of my audience did not write that down! So…….why was I so bugged about other possible failures?
Success = Willingness to try
However, there is proof that one of the most common characteristics of successful people is that they are willing to try new things and face their fears. They are not fearless, they are merely willing to do what it takes.
As mentioned previously, I did have a rather successful housekeeping business. When I entered a house I didn’t shout:
It’s just too much! I haven’t a clue how to start!
choose one factor
In fact, I chose one factor about one room and got started – if I wanted to get paid, that is.
Bruce Lee said: Simplicity is the key to brilliance.
Suppose I could change just one thing about myself. If I could do that, what would it be?